Here's How to Postpone Your Wedding Amid COVID-19
If you are reading this, I am sorry.
Postponing and changing your wedding plans is not something I wish upon anyone.
There are a lot of unknowns in the world right now and that can be discomforting, but I hope you find comfort in knowing that things will be better again, and we will all celebrate together soon.
When it comes to making some tough decisions, lean on one another, understand the facts, and listen to your heart.
I'll try to keep this blog post updated in this ever changing environment we all find ourselves in. Keep in mind, every community is different in terms of the governing rules and its state of health and safety, so please keep yourself informed through trustworthy sources. I've listed some at the end of this post.
When to Consider Postponement
If your wedding is in May or June, begin the process of postponing or making some changes to your wedding day plans now.
If your wedding is in the months of July or August, start talking about postponement or scaling down your wedding with your partner. Create a plan of action for when you're both ready to make the call, but be sure to make it a minimum of one month in advance of your wedding date. If you're ready to make the call now to postpone, do it. If you'd feel better waiting it out a little longer, do that. It's possible to wait it out and get in the mindset of planning a smaller, more intimate wedding or elopement.
You should definitely begin rescheduling now if your wedding is in July or August and meets one or more of the following criteria:
You have a guest list with a lot of out of town and international travellers.
You and/or your wedding location is situated in a virus hot spot.
You couldn’t possibly get your guest list under 50 people.
You’re not willing to compromise on any details of your dream day. You’d rather just change the date.
Based on our current trajectory, I can't candy coat it. I don't think we are going to be in a position to host weddings of their typical size and nature this summer without risking the health, safety and wellbeing of all those in attendance.
If your wedding is in September or later this year, you may be okay. We just don’t know yet. I will be updating this blog post as new information arises, but for now I would at least have a look at step 2 below.
Regardless of when your wedding is, avoid waiting until the last minute to postpone. There are some physical product costs, such as the florist's flower order, which can't be cancelled within two weeks or more of your date. Plus the longer you wait, the more challenging it may be to find a new suitable date.
9 steps to postpone your wedding
Firstly, if you have a planner, contact them first. If you're feeling overwhelmed and you don't have a planner, reach out and inquire about postponement services or hourly consultation.
If you're ready to navigate postponing on your own, follow the steps below:
1 | Inform your guests.
If you've already sent out save-the-dates or formal invitations, inform your guests as soon as you've officially made the decision to change your wedding date. Once you've decided to postpone, it may still take a while to officially arrive on a new date, and in that time guests are otherwise in the dark, wondering or worrying about decisions they may need to make themselves as to whether they can attend or not. Opt for a short email and ask your guests to confirm they received the information. Simply let them know your wedding is being postponed and that a formal invitation for the new date will follow.
2 | EXPLORE ALTERNATE dates with your partner.
Explore how you feel about getting married in a different season, year, or day of the week than planned. Consider a Thursday, Friday or Sunday wedding. Your guests will understand. And, besides, who cares what day it is if we're all able to finally hang out and celebrate you anyways?
But when is it safe to reschedule? I wish I had an answer for you. It's a gamble right now. Best case scenario currently for Canada is possibly lightening some restrictions come July. This doesn't mean things will be back to normal. Gatherings could be limited to 50 people (and that includes vendors in attendance such as servers), for example.
For any guests traveling from out of town or internationally, it's likely that any alternate 2020 wedding date will not be possible for them to attend, even as much as they would love to.
If you haven't sent out save-the-dates or formal invitations yet, this is a good opportunity to consider reducing your guest list in case the pandemic's disruptions last long enough to impact your new date. Could you cap it at 50 if you had to?
If you're not a gambler, postponing to 2021 is a safer bet, based on a possibly optimistic widespread availability of a vaccine come Spring or Summer 2021. Ongoing waves of outbreaks may occur until then. In the meantime, traveling and gathering could be risky, expensive or restricted.
3 | Touch base with your venue first.
Ask for 3-5 available dates from your venue. Don't commit to one just yet, but ask them to pencil you in while you check with your other vendors and let you know before they give it to someone else. Some vendors may not be available on certain days and you'll risk losing your initial payment and the opportunity to work with them.
4 | Take possible dates to other vendors.
Now, you'll need to move quickly here once you begin the process, as most vendors’ availability will be changing by the day. You're not the only one rescheduling.
Send a group email to all your vendors. No need to explain why you are postponing. Keep it simple and straightforward:
"We are in the process of rescheduling our wedding from [original date]. Our venue has provided the following dates for us to consider as of right now. Can you please let me know what your availability is?"
Save time and use a scheduling service. Create a Doodle poll (free for 14 days) and invite vendors to select all the dates that work for them. It will probably save you some back and forth emails and it tracks everyone's responses for you.
Prioritize vendors. Check in with primary vendors first, such as your florist, photographer, videographer, caterer and entertainment. Your primary vendors should include any of your must-have vendors. These are the creatives you can't imagine having your wedding without, you'll lose a big deposit with if cancelled, or you've already spent a fair amount of time and effort in communicating your vision with. Once you have a general availability consensus from your primary vendors, reach out to a secondary wave of vendors who can generally take on more than one wedding in a day, such as your stationer, rental companies, makeup artists, and cake artists.
Review contracts. Read the contracts of your vendor team. Familiarize yourself with their approach to cancellations, date changes, additional fees, and what you've already signed and agreed to.
Plan for some additional costs. If a vendor can't be moved over to a new date, your initial payment may be non-refundable and thus would be forfeited. Keep in mind this is a challenging time for everyone and many companies in this industry are surprisingly small in scale and just trying to keep their business afloat during this time. In other cases, a reasonable fee for a date change may apply due to additional workload to accommodate the date, travel changes, or seasonal price differences.
Kindness and understanding wins. If you've explored possible dates and a vendor can't reschedule to the date that works best for you, know that they don't have a choice. Some vendors book out a year or two (or more!) in advance. The wedding and events industry is a tight-knit community and we can recommend an alternative vendor for you to explore. It's in everyone's best interest to give you the wedding day of your dreams.
5 | Check VIP guest availability.
Run the new possible dates by any key family members, friends and wedding party. All you're looking for here is if anyone really important can't attend certain dates. You're not looking for opinions.
6 | Choose a date.
Weigh all your options against additional costs, must-have vendor and guest availability, and your personal preferences. It's quite possible you may not find a date that all vendors can move to. In that case, decide on your must-have vendors and move forward with a date that works best for you. Once you've arrived at a date, confirm it with your venue and entire vendor team as soon as possible. Remember, availability is going to be changing quickly.
7 | Reconnect with your guests.
If you sent out wedding postponement notices, you probably sent out a formal invitation suite already prior to that. Work with your stationer to create a simple card in a similar design to your original suite, inviting your guests to save the new date. After that you can slide back into a typical invitation timeline and send out formal invitations to your new date 8-12 weeks in advance of your wedding day. You may choose to send a digital invitation if you've already spent on a printed invitation suite, or you may choose to start fresh and send out a whole new printed invitation suite. It's up to you!
If you have not sent out any save-the-dates or invitations yet, adjust your timeline and send out your save-the-dates up to a year in advance and formal invitations 8-12 weeks in advance of your wedding day, as usual.
8 | Give some love to details and decor.
Each season can lend itself naturally to differing colour palettes. If you've changed seasons, you may want, or even need to in the case of florals, make a few tweaks to the colour palette and design. What is available for flowers in the Spring may not be readily available in the Fall or Winter. Touch base with your florist and gather their thoughts.
9 | Finally, get cozy and adjust your new planning timeline.
On the bright side, if you were feeling a little bit behind in your planning, you’re not anymore. Keep in touch with your vendor team and be sure to let them know of any changes that would apply to them, or if things are staying about the same. Otherwise, keep planning and looking forward to your special day.
Other tips
Be creative and open. If you need to cancel with a vendor, see if you can somehow use their service for something else (like a wedding shower or other celebration).
Eloping is cooler than ever. If you're eager to get married this year but needing to postpone your celebration to the new year, you could elope when the gathering restrictions are reduced or lifted. Make it official with just you two, your officiant and photographer, then celebrate with everyone at a later date when it is safe to do so.
Be calm and level headed. The wedding community is here for you. This is no ones fault and we are all moving through this unprecedented time together.
Postponing your wedding does not ruin your wedding. Love always wins.
Keep yourself informed with facts. These are great resources: